The Fangilr's Revenge
by fuzzyalligator
Summary: One shot::A crack!fic about James and his sexuality. James sees his wife reading something on the computer and wants to see what it is. Too many couples to mention.


A/N: Hey! Here's a little fic co-written by me and pixie-rings and beta'd by dreamdustmama over on **blacklupin(dot)org**. You should go over there and see it! This site is awesome! We were talking through a forum and dream said we whould make it into a fic. I wrote the basic plot and pixie added all the details. I hope you like it!

A/N2: If you do go to **blacklupin(dot)org**, I'm also known there as fuzzyalligator! Come see me!

A/N3: Because there are way to many couples, I'll tell you them all here. James/Lily, Remus/Sirius, Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny, James Jr./Teddy, and Albus/Scorpius. Phew, that was a lot.

Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately. They be J.K.'s -sigh- This is my first crack!fic, be nice.

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James Potter casually walked into the living room and spotted his wife sitting at the computer staring at the screen intently. He walked up behind her to peek at what had captivated her so. He stared in horror at the words he was reading.

"Lily! What the hell? Why are you reading about Moony and Padfoot doing _that_?"

She stiffened briefly, then turned to him and sighed. "Because, James, it's incredibly hot. And when I write I get loads of nice reviews... especially from the girls on this site."

James stared at his wife in horror. How could she like stuff like that? He didn't even want to imagine his friends like that... snogging and shagging and... He began to faze out, until someone's voice brought him back down to earth.

"You know you like it, mate."

James quickly turned around and found Sirius and Remus standing in the doorway. "No I don't!" he cried.

Sirius walked in further and smirked at him. "Then where are those pictures of Moony and me?"

James felt his cheeks getting warmer. He was about to deny taking them when his wife spoke up.

"James Potter, you give them back right now!"

James backed into the wall behind him. "I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"You were always such a bad liar, James," Remus said, winding an arm around Sirius's waist as the Animagus let out a bark of laughter.

A crack made everyone turn and Harry entered the room, looking very sorry for himself.

"Mum!" he whined. "I don't know which one to pick!"

Lily turned and smiled indulgently. "Which one what?"

Sirius leaned and whispered in Remus's ear. "He's gonna start wangsting again."

Remus snorted.

Harry ran his hands through his hair. "As soon as I go to dump one I remember what I adore about them..." He moaned, and launched off into a long-winded compliment about the shape of someone's arse.

"Why don't you just talk to Draco? I'm sure he'll help you out," said Lily kindly.

Harry looked at her like she was mental. "You want me to ask Draco Malfoy if I should choose him or Ginny Weasley?" He turns to his dad, "Who do you think I should pick?"

James looked at him stunned. "Uh…Ginny?"

"Why her?" asked Remus, smirking.

"It's the Potter Curse!" cried Sirius melodramatically, pointing at Lily.

"Granddad!"

All heads turned to the voice. It was Albus pulling Scorpius Malfoy behind him. "James is being mean to Scorpius and me again."

"Er, what-"

James Jr. ran in and crashed right into his younger brother. "Don't listen to him, gramps!" he said from his perch on his brother.

Teddy Lupin waltzed in and looked down at the pile of boys. "I didn't know you were into Pottercest, Jamie."

James Jr. blushed to the roots of his messy brown hair as Teddy helped him up and cheerfully began making out with him. Scorpius had helped Albus up and was nibbling on his ear. Lily had turned back to her fic. Sirius and Remus also had their tongues down each other's throat, and Harry was making an absurd clutching gesture in the air, daydreaming, obviously, about Draco's pert behind. It was more than James Sr. could bear.

"Am I the only straight guy here?" he whined.

Sirius laughed. "Oh, come on, mate. It's obvious that you're hiding in the closet."

"In so far he's in Narnia," added Lily, smirking madly. Only Remus, Harry and Albus got the joke.

James Jr. pouted. "Yeah, Granddad. At least Teddy worked it out."

"Hey! What? I can't be curious?" Teddy protested, looking appalled.

James said nothing and dragged him out behind him, taking him into a bedroom and locking the door behind him. James Sr. moaned and buried his face in his hands.

"Something wrong, Prongs?" Sirius asked matter-of-factly.

"I think he's been scarred for life..." Mused Remus, making Lily cackle in a frighteningly accurate impression of dear Bellatrix.

"I've made up my mind!" announced Harry suddenly. "Draco it is!"

"I really don't want to know, Dad," said Albus queasily, as Scorpius dragged him into yet another room.

Harry left with a jaunty wave and a crack. James Sr. whimpered and started banging his head against the wall.

"Ah, isn't it lovely? Teddy and James have a thing going on, Harry has chosen Draco, Albus and Scorpius are just like their fathers..." began Remus, grinning wickedly.

"Face it, James," finished Lily calmly. "It's genetic."

James covered his ears and ran out of the room screaming "I'm straight! I'm straight!"

Sirius, Remus, and Lily all laughed.

"He's so easy to wind up." said Remus fondly.

"By the way, what fic are you reading?" Sirius asked.

--

A/N4: Well, did we do okay? If you think so, leave me a review. And if you hated and want it removed/burned...go away! Loves!


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